Plutselig er mai nesten over. Der betyr også slutten på min tid alene i Mushamna. Bortsett fra et todagers besøk, har jeg vært alene med hunder, bamser og ærfugl i en måned. For en hypersosial person som meg, var det slett ikke planen! Jeg hadde ventet en vår med hemsen full av folk nesten kontinuerlig. Men is og snø ville det ikke slik. Besøkende snudde underveis, eller oppga planene når de hørte om vanskelige forhold. Det er pussig å bo i en verden der livet i så stor grad avhenger av ytre faktorer! Selv i min ensomhet, var det faktorer utenfor meg selv som for en stor grad bestemte dagens agenda. Råtten snø betydde at jeg ikke kom meg på langtur, verken med hund eller scooter. Isbjørn ved stasjonen, betydde at jeg ikke kunne forlate hundene. Var det sel i sikte, ja, så ble det jakt. Samtidig måtte jeg hele tiden være bevisst på at jeg var alene. Spenstige toppturer og lange utfarter ble lagt på hylla. Selv med nødpeilesender rundt livet og telefon i sekken, var hjelpen mange timer unna. Snøskred, beinbrudd eller ferdsel på utrygg is. Begrensningene ble irriterende store i forhold til forventningene for våren i Mushamna! Men hvem skulle hjelpe meg hvis jeg fikk problemer? Alt måtte vurderes ekstra grundig. Samtidig var det ingen å rådføre seg med når scooter, aggregat og annet utstyr gikk i stå. Frustrasjonen gikk i taket! Det er ingen tvil om at motgang er lettere å takle når man er to! Savnet etter familie og venner ble stort, og jeg ble skikkelig nedfor da jeg innså at jeg sannsynligvis ikke rekker hjem til min venninne Eldris bryllup. Humøret var som berg og dalbane! Er man to, ”bufrer” man hverandre og får tankene over på andre ting. Nå måtte venner ”brukes” via mail og telefon. Da slo det meg hvor trist det må være for mennesker som er ensomme i mengden! En kjapp prat med en god venn snudde sinne til smil. Det samme gjorde en koserunde med Tundra, Frost og Tuna. Det hendte jeg ikke ville stå opp fordi det var så hyggelig å ha selskap av mennesker i drømmene! Men så fort dagen var i gang, fikk jeg aldri tid nok til alt jeg ville. Når oppholdet alene gikk mot slutt, nytte jeg hver eneste time. Jeg har fått en enestående mulighet til å oppleve naturen på nært hold sammen med mine tre firbente sjarmører. Jeg har sett våren komme på en av klodens vakreste steder, og jeg har vært vitne til et dyreliv av det sjeldne. Alle spor har vært mine egne – eller dyrespor. Den siste dagen alene fikk jeg en fin topptur med puddersnø på Tårnfjellet. Nå ser jeg fram til å sette svinger sammen Einar! Men tiden alene har blitt et fint minne. Ensom mai i Mushamna; snakk om privilegium!Lonely may
Soon May is over, and that also means the end of my time alone in Mushamna. Except a two day long visit I have been alone with the three dogs for one month exactly. For a hyper social person like me, this is a strange experience. It is something I would never think about doing! I always thought April and May would be busy months full of visitors. But ice and snow conditions wanted it differently. And suddenly I was here, all by myself. Looking back now, time has been running fast. But I am the first one to admit it hasn’t always been easy! I can assure you that “sharing sorrows makes them smaller” is more than a saying!! When scooter and generators broke, there was nobody there to neither support me in trying to fix or to tell me “what the heck, we’ll find a way…” And when I was full of grief because I realized I might not get home in time for my friend Eldris’ wedding, there were nobody there to “buffer” my disappointment. Sometimes when I woke up in the morning, I just did not want to get out of bed. I knew I would spend the day alone, and that made my mood low. In my dreams there were people, so I just wanted to sleep and have company!! But once up and about, it was better; - making the fire, saying hello to sleepy dogs, looking at the weather and deciding what to do. I never got bored; there was always so much to do! Chop wood, ski with the dogs, look for seals… Suddenly the day was over, and I did not want to go to bed, because there were still so many things to do! As I realized my time alone was soon over, I appreciated the loneliness and freedom of being alone even more. Maybe because “seeing the end of things” makes time more comprehendible and you start making more out of it? I don’t know. But I do know the whole thing has been a valuable experience in getting to know myself. I was sometimes sick of the limitations given me because I always had to be so careful. There was nobody around to rescue me if I was caught in an avalanche or went through the ice! But still - being alone in the nature, enjoying wildlife and the everlasting changes in the surroundings, is a privilege. I feel sorry for people feeling alone in the crowd. That is a whole different story. With friends supporting me by e-mail and telephone, my bad days became good. And I could always “put myself together”, go out and chop wood, and then go skiing with the dogs. A cuddle with Tundra, a hug from Frost or a “smile” from Tuna could make any sad moment cheerful. My last day alone, I spent with the dogs + skiing in the mountain behind the cabin. For such a long time, all tracks I’ve seen have been made by me or animals. Now I look forward to see one more track + have more freedom to enjoy downhill skiing, longer trips and seal hunt in company with Einar.
Soon May is over, and that also means the end of my time alone in Mushamna. Except a two day long visit I have been alone with the three dogs for one month exactly. For a hyper social person like me, this is a strange experience. It is something I would never think about doing! I always thought April and May would be busy months full of visitors. But ice and snow conditions wanted it differently. And suddenly I was here, all by myself. Looking back now, time has been running fast. But I am the first one to admit it hasn’t always been easy! I can assure you that “sharing sorrows makes them smaller” is more than a saying!! When scooter and generators broke, there was nobody there to neither support me in trying to fix or to tell me “what the heck, we’ll find a way…” And when I was full of grief because I realized I might not get home in time for my friend Eldris’ wedding, there were nobody there to “buffer” my disappointment. Sometimes when I woke up in the morning, I just did not want to get out of bed. I knew I would spend the day alone, and that made my mood low. In my dreams there were people, so I just wanted to sleep and have company!! But once up and about, it was better; - making the fire, saying hello to sleepy dogs, looking at the weather and deciding what to do. I never got bored; there was always so much to do! Chop wood, ski with the dogs, look for seals… Suddenly the day was over, and I did not want to go to bed, because there were still so many things to do! As I realized my time alone was soon over, I appreciated the loneliness and freedom of being alone even more. Maybe because “seeing the end of things” makes time more comprehendible and you start making more out of it? I don’t know. But I do know the whole thing has been a valuable experience in getting to know myself. I was sometimes sick of the limitations given me because I always had to be so careful. There was nobody around to rescue me if I was caught in an avalanche or went through the ice! But still - being alone in the nature, enjoying wildlife and the everlasting changes in the surroundings, is a privilege. I feel sorry for people feeling alone in the crowd. That is a whole different story. With friends supporting me by e-mail and telephone, my bad days became good. And I could always “put myself together”, go out and chop wood, and then go skiing with the dogs. A cuddle with Tundra, a hug from Frost or a “smile” from Tuna could make any sad moment cheerful. My last day alone, I spent with the dogs + skiing in the mountain behind the cabin. For such a long time, all tracks I’ve seen have been made by me or animals. Now I look forward to see one more track + have more freedom to enjoy downhill skiing, longer trips and seal hunt in company with Einar.
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